Sometimes the things of the past can bleed into the present, where it comes to haunt you. What happens when a relationship you valued so deeply before constantly comes back to bite you? What happens when you’re stuck in the middle of the road, should you go back or venture on ahead?

Tate McRae’s third studio album, “So Close to What,” released on February 21, explores feelings of complexity within past relationships, the idea that love is so addictive, that it makes you want to come back, even when it hurts you in the process. “So Close to What” is a cohesive album with amazing beats and vulnerable lyrics, so here are six of the fifteen songs that explore these feelings under the microscope.

“Revolving door”

“I confess, I’m not that versatile

Say I’m good, but I might be in denial

Takes one call and that undoes the dial

Baby, I tried to call you

Off like a bad habit”

Around and around, eventually you just end up back where you started, right? McRae illustrates her feelings that although she left a toxic relationship, she keeps coming back to them, as if they have something so appealing to her that she wants. Like a cycle, like a revolving door, she keeps returning to her past lover even after taking measures of trying to cut things off. That’s how love is sometimes, it makes us want to come back, even when it’s not good for us.

“bloodonmyhands (feat. Flo Milli)”

“I kept all your secrets in a vault inside my mind

I was so prepared to let you cross all my lines

I was so prepared to fight a war on your side

So where’d it go, boy?”

The title of the song, “bloodonmyhands” derives from the rest of the album, being the only one with all lowercase letters. As McRae’s favorite song on “So Close to What,” the lyrics also express frustration at witnessing a cheating scandal, something that can break hearts in sadness and in anger. This exposé type of song is different than lamenting on past loves, which combined with the catchy beats, make it fun to sing along to.

“Signs”

“If you love me,

you should know me better,

see the signs

Shouldn’t have to tell you

Or whatever, read my mind”

Communication is one of the most important aspects to maintaining a good relationship, but sometimes the things we want to say, we don’t, because we want the other to simply just know. McRae expresses the frustration of wanting her partner to notice the little details rather than having her spell out what she wants. 

“I know love (feat. The Kid LAROI)”

“Everybody needs somebody they can hold down

Girl, stop actin’ like you’re tough

and let your guard down

I know love when it hits”

“I know love” is a special collaboration that McRae does with her boyfriend, The Kid LAROI, about their immediate connection and the feelings that come with a new relationship. Both McRae and The Kid LAROI talk about love being an addictive feeling, that initially was meant to be casual, but evolved into a relationship more deep and profound. The catchy chorus and energy of the song make it stand out from the rest of the album with the whirlwind of love.

“No I’m not in love”

“No I am not in love

I am not thinkin’ ’bout you

Sun’s not gonna come up

And I don’t hate every girl your eyes go to

I am not in love”

Denial. It’s not there if we can’t see it. The process of love often starts with this stage, and even the title itself brings McRae’s feelings to a reality. The denial and confusion shows that she isn’t ready to admit it to herself yet because of the fear of falling too deeply. Admitting to being in love opens up new pathways that lead to vulnerability and at the same time, a potential for heartbreak. “No I’m not in love” addresses the complexities that being in a relationship with mixed signals can provide.

“Greenlight” 

“I can’t unhear things I been told

Guess I never healed right

Maybe it’s a green light, but I can’t go”

“Greenlight” reflects McRae’s conflicting feelings about a past relationship, paralleling her thoughts in “Revolving door.” She conveys her desire to move forward from the wounds and hurt, but is unable to. The song’s whole concept is contrasting her relationship that she cannot get past with the common knowledge of going at a green light, making it symbolic of what the album conveys as a whole. The haunting melody pairs well with the vulnerable lyrics, showing the heavy burden of unhealed and reopened wounds.

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With the long road ahead, it is a transition that cohesively weaves together a tapestry of answers and questions, past and present, and now and later. “So Close to What” is an album that will transcend music with a 2000s vibe and what it’s like to grow older.