Welcome back to Dear Bulldog! This week, we selected two students whose problems could relate to all–presentation nervousness and friendship dilemmas.

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“Dear Bulldog,

How do I stop feeling like I can’t breathe during presentations, as if my throat is closed up? How do I get rid of the thought that everyone is potentially judging my every movement and fidget and currently cackling and mocking me in their heads?

Sincerely,

Dakota”

Dear Dakota,

I definitely understand what you’re feeling, because I used to feel the same way. I get it, presentations are really scary, seeing all those eyes on you for minutes at a time. Of course, you could try using the age-old method the internet always suggests like blowing on your thumb, but I find that to not help as much.

One thing I would try is to not make eye contact with everyone. You should still scan the room while you present to make it seem like you’re engaging with the class, but keep your focal point either on the tops of your classmates’ heads or on an object in the classroom.

This next advice is classic, but I promise you, it helps: closing your eyes and taking deep breaths before you present. This method works in calming your heart and your nerves, because although it is scary up there, it’s only for a few minutes. Your classmates will not be judging you, because most of the time, they’re paying attention to the content of your presentation and writing note, or probably zoning out.

I think that everyone is on the same scale when it comes to presentations, and I promise you, they are more worried about how they’ll present over caring about anyone else. Breathe in and breathe out, because I know you’ve got this. You know you’ve got this.

Sincerely,
Bulldog

“Dear Bulldog,

I have an online best friend who disappeared and hasn’t been online for a few months now. I met this friend during quite a lonely period of time. I’ve always struggled with speech and words and have trouble making friends still to this day. This friend, I tell you, could steer any conversation like an experienced sailor, always giving me opportunities to talk that I felt so relieved to jump at. For hours, I used to be able to ramble about my passions and stories and just about every little fun thing I had kept bottled up with this person, who’d do the same back as we had similar interests. I felt simply alive talking with them, truly, as cliché as it may sound. I’ve had no one to comfortably share such things with since (not to mention worrying about their well-being, simultaneously knowing I may never will), and it’s been really quite suffocating. Any tips or ways to cope with this? Thank you.

Sincerely,

Bluesey”

Dear Bluesey,

It’s truly unfortunate that a friend you used to cherish memories with has drifted away. Someone who you knew well and to share company with you, and that person to vanish away for months is a devastation. Since it is an online friend, it’s hard to tell what has happened to this friend.

That isn’t to say that person just abandoned you just because they didn’t want to talk to you anymore. There can be things outside of their lives that could impact them that brings them away from social media. Whether it be school, or something personal, there’s a ton of factors that just prevent contact.

We may never know for sure when they will come back, but deep down, they for sure care about you. There might be other friends connected to your best friend that you can find more information and reminisce about. It’s not the end of the world for this person to disappear, especially suddenly.

On the brighter side, there are many other people who not just share the same interests, but also might be interested to talk and relate. There are a bunch of people in school, especially students in your classes. There is a lot of room for you to talk to others and possibly build new friendships.

In addition, being in the ninth grade would mean you are a new face in this high school. Four years, even though people say it flies by fast, is still a lot of time. You have a lot of years ahead of you, and it’s not like it takes generations for you and another person to get along.

School is not only a place to just complete academic studies, being in school means communication with others, the help to build social skills, and to interact with a diverse environment of students who might just have the same interests that compliments one another.

There is so many possibilities that can be done outside of a screen and social media. And if one day your old best friend manages to talk to you again, you would have a laundry list of things to talk about being gone for a while. I hope this response helps you with your situation.

Sincerely,
Bulldog

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If you want to ask us for advice through a question or a story time, fill out our form here! We want to hear all about your stories, and give our best advice on anything that you need. See you next week!