Growing up in life is understanding that friends, or even a singular friend, is important to the development of one’s self. As young kids, we always had a friend that we loved and always would hang out with, but have we ever sat down to think about how people have shaped us? Even if it doesn’t seem like you have friends, there is always at least one person in your life that calls you their best friend.

Before getting into high school, we were all told to have friends that would back us up or to help us grow. Friendships in high school, however, are a little wonky. Some friends don’t stay over time, some grow apart, some grow closer, some have conflict, some are the best of friends, and some may even be sworn enemies.

Toxic friendships are something we all know as it can be seen to happen to us personally or in relationships around us. These people do not help you grow and they actually lessen you as a person. It causes us to think less of ourselves as if you were the issue, the problem behind why the friendship didn’t work out, or even feel like people don’t like you. This is not true. I believe people do not just become friends, but are destined for friendship. What does this mean? It means that those particular people who you thought were “friends” were not the right group and just weren’t meant for you. This keeps you on the journey for the right friends who cherish your presence, like having you around, and ultimately like you for you.

Then there are healthy friendships. These types of friendships are the good types of people that value you, have your back, make you feel a part of a group, and overall enjoy you for how you are. People don’t know when they found a real best friend or best friend group until you look back years. Lasting friendships go past high school and into the real world where they are basically friends for life. Now, it may sound easy to find “the right people”, but it isn’t. I’m not saying it’s difficult, but it requires patience. Finding the right people comes at its own time, and we have to accept that. Some people may have already found that group, some are still looking, some are confused, and that is all okay. Bad people come and go, but good people come and stay. 

Now, a common feeling people have is that they don’t have friends or that no one likes them. That is false. Let me be the person to tell you that people, in time, will like you. Maybe not like-like you, but like you. It is also important to remember that you don’t need groups of friends, sometimes you only need one friend. Sometimes that can be your significant other, a family member, family friend, or even an adult you know super well. Friend groups may be temporary, but clicking with that right person is all you need in the long run. 

Having a friend, or group of friends, is important to us as human beings. Finding the right person, however, proves tough especially in this day and age. It takes time and lots of patience to find that right clique, but trust me, that wait will pay off to find your forever BFF.